To refuse properly
A person who is easily persuaded to do anything is often called conflict-free. I hope you know how to say “no.” If you can’t or avoid saying it so as not to provoke conflicts, get ready to develop a new skill. Do not confuse your indecision with imaginary politeness. The incapability to say a firm “no” when the situation requires it is the same sign of self-doubt and fear of new contacts.
It is essential to master this skill to preserve personal space and preferences and escape manipulators. For example, your friends again invite you to a party “because everyone will be there,” but you want to be at home in peace and quiet. However, you are polite and timid, and they dress and drag you into a taxi, and now the evening is ruined (for you). So you lost this little battle. That’s not good!
As a rule, the inability to defend your position shows an attempt to avoid conflict. However, don’t be afraid to damage the relationship. No one should resent you for not wanting something. Instead, respectfully listen to the person who keeps insisting, explain your position, and defend yourself.
The first thing to do is to identify which life principles and parts of your personality you will not change for anything in the world. This will help you to fight for your opinions. Learn to formulate your thoughts in the form of a statement: “I want,” “I think,” “I am sure” — such phrases will keep you from giving up and show others the strength of your intentions.
To help yourself, visualize what you will gain by answering “no” to a particular situation.
Objectively evaluate whether you are taking that risk by answering “no.” So often, we feel like it is the end of the world, but it is not, and you get what you want — you have defended your personal space.
Just because you are refusing someone now does not mean you are rejecting this person as a friend, partner, etc. However, a specific situation and a specific person are different things.
Start small, gradually learn to say no to small things, and then work your way up to bigger things. Eventually, you will say “no” when needed and perfect this skill. The main thing is to remain calm at all times! Don’t allow anyone to throw you off balance. Think about something pleasant, use visualization techniques, but don’t give in to provocations.