Don’t carry the weight of guilt
As psychologists like to repeat, recognizing the problem is the first and most challenging step. Yes, once something scared you, upset you, and you had a negative experience. It has already happened, and you can’t change it. Now decide – do you want to live forever dealing with the consequences of that event? Wouldn’t you rather shake off the guilt? If you’re going to win, stop making excuses for yourself. After failure, our brain tries to find a convenient explanation for what happened. You can wean yourself from this if you gather your will into a fist and are willing to act. To begin with, let’s agree: everyone has issues. So answer the question (better aloud): What complexes do you have? List them. Done? Now let’s do something about them so you will forget them once and for all.
First, be honest with yourself about where these complexes come from. What is keeping you from being happy and enjoying life? No one but you can know this. Even if you go to a psychiatrist, they will ask you these questions.
Understand a simple truth: even celebrities have complexes. Even historical personalities have them. It’s normal because there are no perfect people. Do you disagree? Do you think someone you know is perfect? Assess this person objectively. Even outwardly successful people have problems: fears, phobias, and doubts about their abilities. The only difference between you is that successful people act according to the second item on the list of secrets of the charismatic leader. Your doubts only create new problems.
Now think, is it necessary to keep dragging this burden of old grudges and fears? Throw them away like an old suitcase! Do you think you are not attractive enough? Forget it — every person has their idea of beauty. We see the world in different ways. Do you think you are overweight? But it is all relative. In the pre-industrial era, chubbiness was a sign of affluence and wealth. Just relax and start enjoying life. Allow yourself to welcome every moment and every innovation happily. You are loved and will be loved by dozens of people! But first, you need to love yourself.
Another essential thing to practice using the algorithm we explored in the section on habits: learn to trust yourself. Forget that before making any decision, you need to consult with someone first.